Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Ode to Fall

It happened again. Summer has flown by and it’s nearly fall. To my way of thinking, fall is the best time of year. It’s really when I think people should start their resolutions—at least those folks inclined to resolve themselves. What possesses us to make resolutions in January, anyway? It makes more sense to start our processes, proclamations, commitments to change, and what have you when nature itself has decided to do the same. What really changes on January 1st except the calendar? It’s fall when it starts...

“Fall” is a good name, too. Leaves fall, darkness falls—even daylight savings time falls back to the way things were. Look around dudes. Fall is the season. Of course, I like the name, “autumn,” too. But let’s not get carried away with ourselves. “Fall” it is.

New TV shows start in the fall. It would be cool if there were mind-bendingly awesome shows on. Now there are okay shows, a few “more than okay” shows, one or two great shows, and a truckload of what-the-hell-were-they-thinking shows. Let me have a show, people. One show and I’d change the world! Or at least my world. The Herb Show, starring Herb, written by Herb, sponsored by Herb, winner of five Herbies. Nyah-ha-ha!! The evil plan is hatching right here. This is why you come to the blog—for late breaking announcements!

Anyhow, fall is change and change can be great! Change doesn’t have to be about turning red or yellow, dropping off your tree, or turning crisp to die. It can be about renewal and growth, improvement and achievement. It can be about transition, fixing things, repairing things, making things right that were wrong (or left). Leaves can change and die, but leaves turn green, too, people!

When I inevitably lose my marbles and climb up to my yet-to-be-constructed, currently-figurative tree house to write my rambling manifesto, I’m going to pick the fall to do it. Spring is too hopeful and I’ll lose the hard-won cynicism I need for my opening paragraph. Winter, too depressing to craft my clever closing and call to action. And summer, I’m just too busy with my playing and barbecuing and sun burning to climb the tree and craft the manic flow of the meandering logic. Dear God, have I already started writing it?

Change can be good, people. Think about it. Right now. Do it while I find that marble that just rolled out. Think about one thing you might want to change—it doesn’t have to be a big thing or an obvious thing. Maybe it’s just one little thing. It doesn’t even have to be a thing you want to change about yourself.

Maybe it’s the pillow on your sofa that needs replacing or that bulb that burned out months ago that you haven’t changed. How about that smoke alarm battery you took out when the damn thing started beeping? Jeeze, scare the bejeezus out of us, smoke alarm people. Why don’t you tell us that thing up there is gonna scream at us?

We took out that funny square battery just to keep our brains from leaking out our heads and haven’t been safe for months on account of how scary it was just getting the ladder out with all that screeching! Now we gotta change that damn battery. Hate batteries. Hate needing them, charging them, and having to change them. Isn’t it enough I remembered to get them in the first place? That’s it. Batteries are going in the manifesto.

What if you just changed a battery or fixed a something-something? Tighten a screw, replace that toilet seat. Change that one little thing that was annoying you... Or maybe two things.

There it is. A homework assignment. I can give you homework because I was an English major, people! I can create little metaphors, I can invoke fancy language, I can write horrible blogs, I can plan my manifestos, and I can assign homework. You tech heads out there can drop all the lines of code you want a dinner party. No one’s listening. It’s the poets who woo the crowds. Neener on you! Sorry, it’s all we got. You got Windows 7. We get manifestos and crowd wooing. Doctors get the money. Lawyers get the blame. Plumbers get the butt cracks. It’s just nature sorting things out.

But, really, homework. Change one little thing. See how it feels. Try it on. If you like it, maybe change one more thing. Don’t get carried away. Some things need staying the same. Things like air to breathe or food to eat. Don’t stop those things. But I bet you can find a thing or two that shoulda changed a long time ago. So just do that one and see where it takes you. You may have one thing in mind right now!

Or, if that doesn’t work, there’s always winter.

© 2010, Herb Williams-Dalgart